inneresting

A few weeks ago we read these words:

The kingdom of heaven is like a seed that someone took and sowed in his field; it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches

I was thinking; I have many seed thoughts. But I do not have confidence that they will grow to become trees, or even shrubs.
In fact, many of my seed thoughts are never planted. I keep the seeds safe in my mind. There will never be a harvest unless I step out of my safety zone.

I was reminded of how we are supposed to minimise our "carbon footprint" - ie reduce the negative impact that we individually make upon the planet.
Conversely I felt challenged to MAXIMISE my "kingdom footprint"

How to do this?

To start putting my faith to the test; my seed thoughts; my hopes & ideas.
In a very "kingdom" kind of a way, I am invited to take one or two (or ten or a hundred) seed thoughts, and pray (do I believe that prayer - you know - 'works?'; asking God specifically, that they will take root, grow, bear fruit, become trees.

Hmmm I sense risk... someone once said that Faith was spelt "r..i..s..k" - what shall I start with?
What seed shall I risk "losing?"

There's also the element of wasted time - there is so much to do; can I see myself taking real minutes out to do something spiritual like praying?

Another Lectio I took part in recently was this:

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain.
Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest,
eating the bread of anxious toil,
for God gives sleep to the beloved.

It's from one of the Psalms. No 127.

Here is where Lectio gets interesting for me, because each person received a different word and I can still remember what they all said.

( asdf )

God really knows how to get to me.

For example, my "Rule of Life; first draft:" Every day, before sitting at computer, plan the day with God.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but this is challenging me on so many levels.
I guess that's maybe why God gave it to me.

You would think - EASY!

But I find inner pressures almost overwhelming to stop me doing this.
First, I am drawn irresistibly to my computer in the morning: sports results, LJ, emails, music, eBay status, what's on TV, little research projects, etc.

Second, the act of sitting down and facing up to my tendency to procrastinate; putting unpalatable responsibilities down on paper; prioritising - and, for me, doing this planning activity with God - is another tough challenge. Despite my high ideals, at some unconscious gut level I would prefer to leave God out of it! But even the activity of planning - I find it emotionally demanding.

I am escapist.

So. Some days I half-do the rule.
I sit down and think of a few things I should do, and write them down.

Some days, I simply don't follow my rule at all.

So this rule, this simplest of activities, stretches me right at the fragile boundary of my weakness.

* sigh *
Oh but the days when I do bite the bullet; they go SO much better!

OK, a brief recent history.
I have been getting together with a couple of guys from church to do "Lectio Divina" which is a way of listening to God, meditatively, usually using the Bible.
More of Lectio later.

Anyway, the first verse we looked at was:

Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.

By their fruit you will recognise them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?

..... by their fruit you will recognise them.

We read this on 2 occasions, and here are my 2 messages:

1.
I was surprised to notice that Jesus doesn't want us to be nice to everyone. Does not want us always to trust and think the best of others.

I realised that I want to be liked, too much. I am more concerned to ingratiate myself with people, than to think objectively about whether they are really sheep or wolves. In fact it seems that Jesus is saying, "Reserve judgement. The first thing you see will be the 'woolly coat' or the 'spiky thorns.' But don't jump to conclusions. Watch them for what they produce. Longer-term, underneath, soft & wolly might turn out ravenous & deadly or, conversely, sharp & scratchy might produce soft & juicy fruitiness."

Anyway, my word was, "Stop ingratiating and start watching." A new approach to the people I come across in my life.

2.
Our second time with this verse, I received an entirely different message.
I saw the false prophets as activities that do not align with my life's vision.
They seem attractive on the surface; with short term gain.
But they produce no lasting fruit.

My word was, "Think about your life, and make a judgement on which activities produce fruit and which do not."

Over the following week, following this instruction, I carried out an 80-20 analysis of my usual activities (posted in thornogson I feel sure) and made the discovery that, for me at this time:

Unfruitful:   unplanned, without thought, off-the-cuff activity
Fruitful:   planned, with thought, evaluated, prioritised

This led me to my "Rule of Life; rather prosaic first draft"

Every day, before sitting at computer, plan the day with God.

I'm gonna use this LJ for writing up what I think God is trying to get through to me.
You're welcome to comment, disagree, encourage me, watch silently, ignore, whatever.

I'll give it a week to start with.
I'm a slow learner, so I expect the same lessons will repeat, week by week, year by year.
We'll see.

I'm probably doing this more for my benefit than for anyone who might want to read it.